I'm deleting this live journal.
It's silly.

And i'm making a new one.
For venting and shit. Like this one.

But kind of like starting over.
Peace out.
Find my aim or yahoo if you want to follow me in my L.J. adventures.
Bye

i met a boy.
named liam.

he's cute.
and we kissed.

liam looks like johnnys ex.
johnny was with us.
so johnny had a breakdown because he thought of the kid.

i didn't know what to do.
i felt so horrible.

fucking gosh.

it was perfect! LIAM EVEN BROUGHT A FRIEND FOR JOHNNY!

who i thought was cute too.
and johnny likes him.

but he's scared.
<33333i love the big guy.





SO BACK TO THE KISS

It was nice =]
the whole night there was alot of tention.
the good kind.

hahaha we went to fridays in the mall and me and him sat across from each other.

and he rubbed his legs againts mine.
=]

after that i could stop smiling.
we went to fye.
and we saw ASHLEY LUDDEN <3333
i missed you hahaha!!!
i'm surprized you guys didn't make a fudge joke XD

but after that. i was going through cds and liam was following me
and it was really really cute.



BEST PART

we went to starbucks.
me and liam sat next to each other and it was like cuteness time a billion.
we held hands.
and then liams friend was like
"ok you guys the mall is closing soon. you have enough time to do it the bathroom"
my face was fucking REDDDDD.
but then we held hands and walked outside.
and the other guys pulled ahead of us.
maybe on purpose.

but then i pulled liam away from all the other cars.
and then i kissed him.

it was really nice. =]

because i can.

blah blah blah boring.

i love you amanda. i'd tell you but
i'm to lazy to open up livejournal.

we didn't do presents this year =/
we did last year.

but
blah what evs.

fuck boys.
fuck myspace.

things are better when they don't have to deal with the internet.

facing things head on is much better.


my new years resolution.

1:not to be sucha whiney bitch.
2:gain more controll of my emotion and actions.
((so i won't be miserable later on))
3:Get back to normal.

i miss the old me =/

since i realize frankiie nick trombetta, is a complete psychopath XDDDD

he cheated on me with MORE THAN 6 PEOPLE I FOUND OUT
i really don't care any more.
people will treat me better than that =]
logan does. =]

i might meet him tomarro.
johnny is taking me to the mall, and athena is coming too =D

i miss her, i haven't seen in forever. =] i
i'm excited =]


in the musical cabaret, i got the part i wanted =]
i'm bobby, the flamboyant waiter XD

fun stuff. is someone doesen't take the part they got, i'll get moved up too =]

dsbsdfajkbgsfkg

I TAP AND GET A SOLO <33333333

but yeah.

i like logan <3

frankiie cheated on me with more than 3 people now.

it's nice how the person who was in love with me can go around and fuck other people

what ever. i'm done with him. he's out of my phone book and i like someone else now.
i was up till 3:00 talking to logan.

this boy from bayshore. =]
we have alot of things in common.
and he is the sweetest thing to me.
=] <333

he's cute. but not like
amazingly hot.

but it's ok =] as long as he's not ugly as hell.
but looks don't really matter much.

i really like him.
i've only ben talking to him for a day and he already has my heart XD
i told him we should slow down. he told me he liked me too.
but we're gonna meet soon.
and cuddle <3333
and i'm so excited cause he can text <333333





ahhhhgdufjkfhfgnhng
i still can't get over the fact that he lied to me,cheated on me, anddd everythnig else.
he just didn't want me anymore.

he's a disgusting slut. just like matt. and they belong together.
if they want each other fine.
he probobly fucked matt while he was dating me too.
i woulden't doubt it.

what everrrr.
i'm done crying. he's so not worth it.

he's out of my phonebook.
and replaced by logan <3

haha it's funny
he's probobly complimented me more than frankiie has already. =]
and he has trhe cutest voice everrrrrr

and he promises he doesen't lie.
and i can call him whenever i want
and he won't yell at me.

i know more about him then i do about frankiie <3333

i'm happy

i like this boy in school
who is possibly straight.
idc.


i like this other boy who is 20 and he likes me.
but i'm not supposed to know so i can't talk to him untill he adds me.

=/

me and frankiie are over.
and it's killing me each passing day but what am i gonna do.
i've tried everything. and crying every night honestly isen't going to make me feel any better.
i need to face the facts.
that i won't have him the way i want him.
so i consider it over.

and i think i'm ok.
i mean after a whole month of feeling horrible.
i'm really excited to get to sleep early and not wait for someone to call me late at night.

i'm also really excited that i can catch up on my school work i decided not to do because i hated my life.


i get to be happy again too.

the only thing i can do now is wait for something to happen.

so yeah.

hi.

i still miss frankiie.
i'm a dead body in the play.

i got my haircut.
i still basically hate my life.

just thought everyone wanted an update.

since frankiie broke up with me.

it's whatever.

i'm usually either depressed or just don't have the will to do anything anymore. it's upsetting.
usually when i get off the phone with him i get really sad.
because yeah we still talk and say i love you.
wooo. fun. makes me feel so much better.

johnny kissed me the other day.
i told frankiie, he wasen't mad. and he wasen't sure if he was sad.
he said he's "glad i'm glad your moving on."
but i'm not.

things with athena are fine.

homecoming was alot of fun yesterday.
ian tully can dance XDDDDDD
it was awesome.

i wanna be a candidate for homecoming king.
hahahah =] i do.
it probobly won't happen. but. you know.

i'm done for the day.


oh i might go the home coming game later.

so yeah.

frankiie broke up with me an hour ago.

and i've ben crying for an hour.

yeah. it hurts more than what i was already feeling in the relationship. i would much rather stay together and feel like shit, than be apart and feel like shit.

i logged on to livejournal for the purpose of venting, not to hear anyones apologies.
i fucking knew it was coming. so what ever.

i saw one of the pictures of us.
and i started crying even harder.

it's not even like we're over for good.
but it still is really hard.

and i can't do it.

i really really don't want to go to school tomorro.
i really don't.
but my dad will probobly make me.

MY FUCKING DAD IS WATCHING ME FOR A WEEK!
worst time ever. seriosly.

what did i do?
i never hurt anyone.
i didn't cheat on anyone
i never fucking killed anyone, or have done something illegal.
i'm a good kid.
why do i have to feel like shit?
how come the people who really diserve it smile everyday of there sad horrible lives.
and i'm stuck being there for people.
and now, i'm a crutch.


ok to be perfectly honest. i have ben an ass to alot of people. but i haven't ben so extreamly mean to kill or make them kill themselves. i try to be there when i can. if someone needs me, i'm there.


well.
now i have no boyfriend.
no best friend.
my mom is on a fucking buisness trip
and mr.c is a total asshole.

10th grade sucks.
i wanna graduate early and get the fuck out of highschool. i need to leave. i wanna go to college already.

tomorrow i have youth and government till 8.
i'm not getting home till 9. or at least i didn't last time.

so i have rehersal till 5. where i sit around and do absolutley nothing for 4 hours. then an hour of nothing. and then 2 hours of law making.
and then the next day rehersal till 5.
and then the next two days i'm probobly cutting rehersals.
once for no reason. the other to see frankiie.

we aren't broken up for good.
i'm scared.

i don't have anyone right now.
i feel like i have no freinds or anyone to help me.

it's hard.
it's really hard.

frankiie didn't hang out with matt.
so i'm happy. =]

and second.
i love hearing frankiie say my name.
not like
perverted. yeah, thats nice too. but what i mean is,

we were at the mall sunday
and he doesen't feel comfortable with his sexuality
which bugs me a little but not too much. i don't want to force people to be someone they don't want to be.
or do i?
well anyway...
he kissed me
alot.
but the first time i was in shock.
i was really happy.
and he even actually grabed my ass.
and i yelled at him.
and he actually tried to grab something else after that.
but i woulden't let him.

HE'S SO BAD AND I LOVE IT!!!






he was trying on a shirt
and he said "i'm gonna look like jared."
his ex.
so i got mad and i said take it off.
and then when he asked why i got mad,
i said it's cause your not even dating jared and you still love him more than i do.
i'm jealous says rich.
and he's not with jared anymore.
he's with me now.

that makes me feel better.
i love frankiie
and he loves me

=] i need to get that through my head.